CHANGE

Change is always difficult for me. Every time I find myself in a period of upheaval, I realise how complex my own reality actually is. I feel the different relationships in my life and notice how they are changing. I notice how I take on things that I love or once loved, and at the same time lose interest in them. More and more uncertainties arise, and I often feel overwhelmed by them.

At the same time, new opportunities arise. To be able to recognise and seize these opportunities requires a great deal of courage, stability and a certain inner security. That is precisely what I find difficult. In such moments, I feel a great deal of fear and panic. I often no longer know what to do or what really nourishes me.

I usually have a habit of doing as much as possible, tackling many things at once, not being able to sit still or simply „chill“ and convince myself that not everything is so important. But in today’s world, almost everything you do feels enormously important: pursuing your own success, having to work, study, earn money – and all this with a high demand for autonomy and independence.

At the same time, I realise how much I need connection and that dependence can also be a beautiful thing. Autonomy does not necessarily mean detaching yourself completely from others. I believe that in today’s capitalist world, we often forget how important social structures are. Sometimes it is incredibly important to put your mental and physical health first.

Although I actually want to do this and also want to show that relationships, social life, empathy, connection and inclusion are life-changing, I find it extremely difficult to act on it myself. When I find myself in a situation where my reality changes entirely, fear and insecurity put me in a state where I feel unmotivated and depressed.

What is particularly hard for me is that just when situations feel good and you can bring things to a close, difficult memories and experiences resurface. They emerge from the subconscious into the conscious mind and demand attention.